Dear Agony
by underarrest39
Summary: B/A hint. angst and song fic.


**A/N:**** The bold and **_**italics**_** are thoughts, just **_italics_** are the lyrics. **

**Disclaimer: ****I do not own the characters or the song. Dick Wolf and Breaking Benjamin do.**

**Angst/Tragedy **

**Post fic of Frame **

**Dear Agony **

_I have nothing left to give _

_I have found the perfect end _

_You were made to make it hurt _

_Disappear into the dirt _

_Carry me to heaven's arms _

_Light the way and let me go _

_Take the time to take my breath _

_I will end where I began _

_And I will find the enemy within _

_Because I can feel it crawl beneath my skin_

Detective Bobby Goren may have felt free but he knew he was still haunted by the ghosts of his past; Mark Ford Brady, Declan Gage, Nicole Wallace, Frank and his mother. He realized how much he had lost and gained for the past couple of years. The faces in his mind swirled around like a whirlpool. He had to hit something, he punched his wall. It made a deep fist mark which he was sure his landlord would have him pay for the damage. He did not care this time. It did however make him feel better; getting his frustration out on a wall seemed the best thing right now.

_Dear Agony, just let go of me, suffer slowly _

Suddenly his phone rang from the kitchen. He really didn't feel up to talking to anyone. Especially Eames, she seemed so innocent and didn't need his problems in her life as well. He closed his eyes waiting for the phone to stop ringing. He was praying it would stop soon so he didn't have to throw it out the window. Like on cue, it stopped abruptly like the person who was calling knew what he was thinking.

He opened the fridge to find two beers. He needed something to drink, to numb himself against the feelings of loss and freedom. Which still, he didn't feel he was free. Maybe in a physical sense he was but not mentally, emotionally and physiologically. His dreams he had been having lately, he saw himself killing those women instead of Brady. _**I will be him someday**_, he thought angrily. These past few years the world had been turning its back on him.

_Is this the way it's got to be? Don't bury me, Faceless enemy, I'm so sorry _

He heard his cell hum near him. He didn't want to look who was calling but he already knew. Her name displayed on the screen, like he was being watched.

"Please," he whispered. It went to voicemail and he kept staring at the screen. He grabbed a beer and drank it. He sculled the first half and put to on the counter. "Sorry," he murmured, to his brother, mother and his partner. Then suddenly he heard a knock, a frantic knock that sprung him out of his lost mind.

"Bobby," he heard a voice muffled through the door. He shook his head. _**She shouldn't be**__**here,**_ he thought, _**why are you here?**_

"Bobby," the voice said again, this time with a trace of fear. He shook his head. He didn't want to scare her or make her worry. He reluctantly went over to the door and opened it to his partner. His large frame seemed small against her petite frame. Her expression showed a wave of relief and a rush of concern and fear. "Bobby," she murmured again, looking into his eyes. He held his breath, making sure it wasn't a dream. A moment passed crawled passed them like time froze for that moment.

"Eames," he said, like he only realized she was there. "How are you?" he asked, like he was attempting to sound normal.

"I should be asking you that," she replied. Her eyes bored into his, making him nervous, which was unusual for him in front of Eames. She usually calmed him down or made him confident.

Every time he heard her say his name his heart skipped a beat. It was almost like it was her pet name for him.

_Leave me alone_

"Eames, please," he said to her firmly. He was about to shut the door when her hand stopped and she pushed it back forcefully, making him fall back a couple of steps. He was surprised and annoyed. She glared at him, but only for a moment. He put his hands up in defence and let her pass through the door into his apartment. He slowly closed the door and turned around to see Eames staring at him.

_God let me go _

"I'm fine," he told her firmly and stormed past her. She followed him to the kitchen and shook her head.

_I'm blue and cold _

"Talk to me," she told him.

"What is there to talk about?" he replied, sarcastically.

_Black sky will burn _

"You damn well know," Eames shot back. He drank down the rest of beer which left a bitter taste in his mouth. "Don't shut me out this time." _**Too late**_, he thought angrily, throwing his bottle in the trash.

_Love pull me down _

"Look, just leave!" he roared. "You don't understand."

"No," she shouted angrily, making him jump in surprise.

_Hate lift me up _

It was very rare for Eames to yell and this was one of those times. Goren tried to avoid eye contact but he saw the look in her eyes. He saw the soft brown eyes full of apprehension and could see she wasn't moving until he spoke to her. He slammed his fist into the wall again, not making Eames flinch. He could feel the tears build up in his eyes. He didn't want to show his weakness but he started to breakdown.

_Just turn around _

"I know what it is like to lose someone you love," Eames said firmly, he felt a hand on his arm.

He looked to see Eames standing next to him. He didn't think she wouldn't go anywhere near him. He felt his tears slip down his face and turned to Eames. He felt her arms wrap around his body. His arms circled her body and he cried into her hair. He still smelt the scent of her shampoo and inhaled it, like it was drug he needed to feel alive again.

_There's nothing left_

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to her hair. She pulled away from him and wiped a tear from his cheek.

"No, I'm sorry, not everything is your fault," she told him. He nodded and kissed the top of her head. It was almost like time has stopped and everything was going to be okay eventually in time with Eames by his side.

_I feel nothing anymore_

_**End**_

_**A/N: **_**thank you for reading. Remember to review **


End file.
